Today is the day number 122 of social isolation, in some parts people is
getting into the “new normality” but in my country people is way to stupid and
things are quite out of control. Anyway… In this 122 days I’ve been dealing
with a lot of things and feelings, I had a few existential crisis, episodes of
depression and anxiety and a big number of videocalls.
The main thing here, is that spending that amount of days at my home, while
i deal with homework and online lessons, and with the world falling piece by
piece, moved a lot of things inside me, of course I miss so much going out,
visiting friends, and just everything, and I can’t avoid feeling so low
sometimes. Today is one of those times. But a little bit harder.
In 122 days I’ve been working out, eating healthy, spending time with my
family, working with myself, dealing with things I didn’t before, reading books, blah blah blah. Also I’ve been away from social media (’cause that’s good for my mental
health) that involves not being in contact with some friends as much as I used
to.
Somedays I feel on the top of the world, full of joy and happiness and others I feel so blue and down, just like today. It’s okay, I mean we all been threw that, is hard dealing with all these things going around, sometimes I need to remember to myself that eventually everything is gonna be fine.
Today I look back to this 122 days that have past, and the days that are missing (God know how many will be) and as positive I try to be is hard, is hard realizing and acepting how things are and how they are going to be.
So… If there’s anyone reading this tell me
What do you think?
—–Also in spanish ‘cause I’m latin—–
Hoy es el día número 122 del aislamiento social, en algunas partes la gente está entrando en la “nueva normalidad”, pero en mi país la gente es muy estúpida y las cosas están bastante fuera de control. De todos modos … En estos 122 días he estado lidiando con muchas cosas y sentimientos, tuve algunas crisis existenciales, episodios de depresión y ansiedad y una gran cantidad de videollamadas.
Lo principal aquí es que pasar esa cantidad de días en mi casa, mientras trato con la tarea y las lecciones en línea, y con el mundo cayendo pieza por pieza, moví muchas cosas dentro de mí, por supuesto que extraño tanto salir , visitar amigos y todo, por lo que no puedo evitar sentirme deprimida algunas veces. Hoy es uno de esos dias. Pero un poco más difícil.
En 122 días he estado haciendo ejercicio, comiendo sano, pasando tiempo con mi familia, trabajando conmigo mismo, lidiando con cosas que no hacía antes, leyendo libros, bla, bla, bla. Además, he estado alejada de las redes sociales (porque eso es bueno para mi salud mental) que implica no estar en contacto con algunos amigos tanto como solía hacerlo.
Algunos días me siento en la cima del mundo, llena de alegría y felicidad y otros me siento tan triste y hundida, como hoy. Y está bien, quiero decir que a todos nos han pasado esto, es difícil lidiar con todas estas cosas, a veces necesito recordarme a mí misma que eventualmente todo estará bien.
Hoy miro hacia atrás a estos 122 días que han pasado, y los días que faltan (solo Dios sabe cuántos serán) y por más que trato ser positiva es difícil, es difícil darse cuenta y aceptar cómo son las cosas y cómo van a funcionar después de esto…
We live in a chaotic world where it’s difficult to understand the rules. Because why are some people poor and other people rich? Why do some people have to be refugees, while others are safe? Why are some people spit on on the street? And why is it that sometimes, even though you try to do something good, it’s still met with hate? It’s not weird that people give up. That they stop believing in the good. But thank you so much for not giving up, Sana. Because even though it sometimes feels like it, no one’s ever alone. Each and every one of us is a part of the big chaos. And what you do today, has an effect tomorrow. It can be hard to say, exactly what kind of effect. And you usually can’t see how everything fits together. But the effects of your actions, are always there, somewhere in the chaos. In a hundred years, we may have machines that can predict the effect of every action, but until then, we can trust this:
Fear spreads. But..
But fortunately, love does too.
